The Professional Pound (3-07) RITC

by Friday, February 29, 2008

Its officially Spring time so let the madness begin. We’ve all heard that dogs start to sniff around in spring in hopes of finding fresher “treats”; this is all too true here in New York City. In contrast to any other atmosphere, from what I’ve seen the only difference is the pedigree of the dog. While elsewhere you may get half breeds and mutts barking up your tree in New York City you get proud Great Danes and handsome Greyhounds.

While gallivanting around the city in my “getumgirl” shoes I’ve been subjected to stares, smiles and various attempts on my phone number. Thursday after work I retreated to a lounge located less than a minute from my office in Chelsea. I waited for my friend for what seemed like forever only accompanied by my half full glass of merlot. Like coffee it’s another “sophisticated” habit I’ve picked up in the short time I’ve been here. I staked the spot out while it was rather empty… drizzles of suited men poured in every few minutes. I eyed them as I was looking through water never giving any the indication that I wanted an encounter. After all… I was ALONE and I had no shield or distraction. By the time FIC (Fashion Industry Chick) got there the place had filled up nicely with men and women. The real drinks began and so did the mingling.

First up was the St. Bernard that had been sitting beside me the entire time I was there, obviously he had some clout because who I assumed to be the owners kept coming to check if he needed anything, I wasn’t impressed when he began spouting business lingo after inquiring about what I did “lets get together and talk about all these domain names I have, we can help each other” of all things I hate when guys use my freelance work to their advantage. I take my work very seriously and the two should be separate. Next up was the St. Bernard’s friend the miniature poodle, I say miniature because he was probably shorter than me without my shoes, poodle because he was introduced to me as a “celebrity hair stylist” ladies… where I come from men don’t do hair. From the night on he was in my face, again trying to build on what I do for a living, maybe he did realize it wasn’t normal to have to stand on a chair to get a drink. Further than that he tells me he’d do my hair for half off! PLEASE!!! While he’s saying this I wonder how he’d even see the top of my head.

Despite what I’ve written I was making the best of the situation, it wasn’t a bad time and the music was good. Next at bat was a handsomely suited golden retriever. I call him a retriever because he sent his friend, a cute but homely fashion risk to retrieve me for his pleasure. Apparently the fashion risk had told him to pick any girl and she’d see if she could get her to come talk to him. Lame right? I told him just that … either he was shy or incredibly lazy. I welcomed the intrusion from the first batch of hounds and conversed with him for a time … simply based on his presentation. Blue lightly pin stripped suit bottomed by handsome square toed shoes. With his dark complexion he stood about 6’3. FIC disappeared so I was stuck with him until she returned, I learned he was a business analyst – incredibly boring but ridiculously efficient. Once FIC returned we were on our way again squeezing through the crowd of would be black professionals. There’s two ways to think of moving through a crowded lounge … the first is very annoyed, as every five steps I take someone is grabbing my arm while I’m trying not to spill my margarita down some unsuspecting onlookers dress. The second way is as a site-see, with a lighter mind (because of the alcohol) I took this approach. I was glancing about at what I had missed while drinking or mingling with those around the bar. Very nice selection, but since I was new to the establishment I had no way of knowing the regulars. Then we saw the Doberman Pincher … clad in red suspenders. A face that I had seen before, I had an interaction with him a month or so ago at a mixer at a different venue. After he prodded me for the average information I reminded him of our previous meeting. I didn’t mention that some of my drink had spilled on my fingers and he proceeded to TRY and lick them clean… YUCK! Right … I’m not that pretty. I knew then I wouldn’t talk to him again … I mean … who does that? Lastly there was the graceful Dalmatian, another guy I had seen before, as he had went to school with FIC. We planned that when we saw him again I’d state my case on him, and since he was apart of the venues promotion group we knew we would. I found out he was shy… mostly from the stuttering he was doing when I made an overly forward comedic comment (not usually in my nature). Nice guy, tall and dressed NYC trendy. I left shortly after, mainly because I got irritated with the demand of my time. It really was that bad. We checked out another venue, which was a bust and headed home.

The only phone call I received worth writing about was with the Dalmatian. I didn’t know he was an actor, recently featured on “days of our lives or young and restless” I wasn’t paying attention. I’m not so sure that’s my speed but stay tuned. After all I’m still digging the Nigerian med student from last week. As for the rest.. I’ll let sleeping dogs lay and not give any more attention then absolutely necessary.

All the while remembering that its all in fun and that spring has just begun.

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