Preference in Style / RITC -8-07

by Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Are finger waves back? It’s come to my attention that quite a few non-mentionable women are sporting this helmet headed 90’s style frequently. I myself adorned this “do” in the early years of high school. I understand there’s nothing new under the sun but not everything is meant to come back as a trend. Bellbottoms ok, leggings maybe, but finger waves? No thanks.

That said – New York is the trendiest of all towns. What runway or should I say hot grease kitchen or backyard prompted the gel enraged frenzy in the first place? OK, so perhaps I saw six women with this hairstyle on a rare trip uptown to Harlem and maybe the women were older, but where do we get our style from? Are we born with it or do we shamelessly mimic what the media and our mothers tell us to and where do the styles of men we pick come into the equation?

Many of you have heard me say I like a big and tall, sullen man, part of that comes from my fathers influence and the other is acquired from my own developed attraction. Plain and clearly I KNOW what styles I like. Not 90’s hair dos or little men with big egos and distorted self perceptions. On various occasions I have encountered these types of men, when I say little I don’t always mean only physical. In some cases I mean it literally and in other cases I mean it as an overall generalization of a man’s character.

Friday night I encountered another one of these “small men” simple enough I was at the regular Friday spot sipping Pinot Grigio with FIC when I was approached. It’s Friday night and I’m feeling right and I’m having a pretty decent time chatting it up. I’m positioned at the bar and doing a little admiring but mostly being admired. FIC is talking to some random guy and then he steps over to speak to me right after some unmentionable steps away. The conversation goes like this…

LM: hey your friend says you’re a designer…

exR.: yup

LM: you work in the city

exR.: yup

LM: where at?

exR.: it’s a small company in Chelsea, I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.

LM: well I don’t think your a designer, are you really a designer…

exR.: (flabbergasted) smirking … um ohh yeah? Well who cares what you think (my smirk is progressing to laughter)

LM: well I’m just saying .. I’m a network …blah blah blah

At this point I cut him off and look at FIC

exR.: (to FIC) where did you find this dumb dumb? Get him out of my face

LM: all I’m saying is that if you were a designer then you’d …..

Now I’m being dramatic and rolling my eyes

exR: I’m done talking to you. Go away. (with that I gave a few flicks of my wrist turned around and continued sipping)

His friend was at the bar and I told his friend / coworker that his boy was a jerk, he began to try and defend him but I wasn’t hearing it. So from this I gather that perhaps this was some sort of attention getting technique that the LM was using to get my attention OR he decided to attempt to belittle me because I wasn’t giving him the attention that he sought after. Regardless, I have worked hard to become however Extreme I am and I wont be accused of being anything less than that from someone that doesn’t know me.

Sadly this isn’t the only time this has happened. Once I was told that I didn’t love myself because I didn’t comply with an overweight midget’s advances. And on another occasion I was told that I “wasn’t anything without my weave and make up” to each comment I returned a quizzical look as well as a chuckle. I didn’t laugh because I was realizing some deep down painful truth that had been uncovered. I laughed because I realized this is what conversation has come to when rejection is involved. Must I be degraded because I have a “type” must I be degraded because I know what I’m looking for or because I want preference?

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