Like an Epiphany 11/08

by Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This time around I’m going to write a little something about the “power” a woman can gain after any major disappointment in any kind of relationship involving some infamous man.

So I ended it. In so many words I told my big, handsome dark Mr. to take a walk … or hit the road. Unbeknownst to him it was over before he even read the email. I simply explained I had grown tired of the “game” (a game that I happened to be a very worthy opponent at) and that I’d rather cut my losses than waste my time. Once he had read the email I was bombarded by text messages, voice and emails within a matter of minutes. To which I replied somberly, after all, I had written it a day ago and I hadn’t heard from him within that time. Why should I be so interested in what he had to say all of a sudden?

I have to admit the responses caught me by surprise, in my mind I had moved past him and was picking out the outfit I would wear out on Friday and matching up the new 5 inch stilettos I’d bought earlier that day. The next day I asked him to let me know when he was ready to talk since his argument was that it was unfair that I had made a decision about him without him (since when do I HAVE to care about fair?). To which he replied “Ok cool”, now to me that meant ok I’ll call you tomorrow but to him I guess it meant infinity. Days come and go as if he’s the one that needs to do the thinking. So to ease my wonderment I text and ask if this talk is actually going to happen, to which he replies “yes, after he goes to visit relatives” which actually meant “out of the country for nearly a week”. This was fine by me, because I knew I didn’t have to simmer any longer, and if he didn’t contact me once he was back, then I’d have an answer to the question that I had been asking all along “is he worth it?”

That Friday I had planned to hang out in the city alone but opted for a date instead. He was a guy that had been adamantly pursuing some time with me for at least a month. And someone I felt comfortable enough with that I didn’t feel like prey. I knew he was funny (part time comedian) and he was also quite attractive (as far as bodies go) (full time trainer). We went to an interesting Indian lounge in his part of queens, totally not my scene but it turned out to be a memorable experience. I’m glad this was one of those times when “stepping out of my box” didn’t prove to be detrimental to my psyche. The date was fun; the filler was the same age as me compared to Mr. who is in his mid 30’s. This guy’s attitude was outgoing and fun but he was a little timid around me, I could tell he thought he was dancing on glass whenever I asked him a question. Toward the end of the night … and about four vodka tonics in, I lightened up a bit. I let him know that I didn’t think he was a complete creep and that it was better to be himself as opposed whom ever he thought I might like.

I can honestly say my mind was in a new place. I totally remembered the powers that I had always prided myself in controlling. Not because I was on a date with a “number 2” but because I had had a number 2 at all that was worthy of even being dated. I never want to make light of having “plenty” of men to date – when I am dating at all, I just do find it refreshing that I can enjoy the company of another – if that is what I choose … instead of sulking or plotting on said mans car windows.

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