Michael Jackson apparently died yesterday. Like the rest of the world I was in total shock. Not that I was often checking for MJ, I just totally believed that he would be loved worldwide once again in this life. And to that wish, I suppose it is currently becoming a reality. The world has been shook up, with do cause, perhaps the superficial and overly judgmental media will take a second look at what we all have in common. Life.

As of late, at 27 I do understand that people die. I am aware that I have been blessed to not have lost many people in my life. Whether that comes from the lack of people I let into my life or just the kind of people I seemed to be surrounded with is no matter. What absolutely hurts my feelings is the flat out “not knowing.” What I mean is … do the people we love and lose find peace in life, were they afraid, did they even know it was time and were there any regrets. In this case, MJ was a public figure for most of his life and because of that was scrutinized by many that never had the chance to know him but did he know that many more loved him than opposed him – did he ever loose faith in mankind? Did the hate ever seem like it was larger than the love from millions? Did he understand why he was faced with so many trials and tribulations ever?

I had heard that MJ was rushed to the hospital with cardiac arrest before I left work and by the time I was home he was pronounced did. Before leaving I had thought nothing of it, just the media hyping things up once again. Then while moving my car I heard the DJ announce that he was in the middle of a tribute in remembrance to the king of pop. I was alone, no one to go home to and not a single person to call besides my sisters. It was kind of an “Aha” moment. In life I have had many and all have had long lasting effects from the lessons learned. This moment showed and indeed reinforced that life is too short and unpromised. It does trouble me that there isn’t a person besides my sisters 400 miles away that I’d call in a life changing moment. Good news and bad is all taken alone. So the questions I have to ask myself are … is a life fully worth living if it is lived alone and why is it that I do pride myself so much on being independently alone? Also, not that I ever want to think about the end but – as of now my biggest accomplishment would be fully loving myself and my family and my only regret would be never being loved and in love with another.

All in all the death of this particular icon has truly touched me. Ed McMahon and Farah Fawcett also passed away this week but neither has affected me as such. We should learn from lives that we think are cut too short and learn to appreciate and accept people faults. We should also take advantage telling the people we hold dear how we feel regularly. And in my case, I suppose I should learn to understand why I am lacking much of what I am referring to in this paragraph.