The struggle is really getting real. I don’t think I look or feel my true age – but I don’t feel 22 either. Health has been a priority for the past 15 years, but only within the last 5 or so have I been able to hone on all the facets of health I should give focus to. Now physical AND Mental health take precedent to all else at this stage in life. If it makes my emotions or my body feel bad I don’t allow or eat it. Health disruption comes in all shapes and forms, people, places, things, foods, thoughts etcetera. 36 was the age my sisters and I first thought my mom was “old”, now at 36, I don’t FEEL what I imagined it would feel like as a child, but again I don’t feel 22 either.
Keep close and not for granted. Though we can’t choose our blood family, as an adult, it’s comforting to know that I have those around that will forever have a familiarization with my past. Family knows all versions of selves, good and bad – highs and lows. Growing up with family (blood or chosen) is full of invaluable experiences that have been testaments to my being as an adult. I keep my memories close, and reminisce and reflect often.
Don’t make romantic relationships a priority – UNLESS your in a REAL one. Then give as much as you get and add 10% to it. Don’t force a fit and don’t go in search of something that isn’t looking for you because society tells you, you late.
Work should come second to life. Though i’m beyond a decade into a successful career of my choosing that allows a very enjoyable lifestyle – it simply amounts to how I make my money. Hobbies seem more important at this stage in life. A hobby is a choice and not a direct life line – my work allows me to invest in and build my hobbies and interests. My career being enjoyable is an added bonus.
Keep only a few, and those few should have great value. As you also should have great value to them. Ask yourself how you help each other by participating in each others lives and reevaluate those that have no purpose or don’t help your purpose of being. Also those you have no desire to help any longer.
Call me a cat lady. True story; the last relationship I had (3 years ago) he asked me to get rid of my cat, for no other reason besides he “didn’t like cats”. My cat Buble’ had been with me for around 5 years at the time. To him I replied – what happens if we break up? I’ll just have no cat and no man? Buble’ and I have been happily together for 9 years now. Compromise – but for the right reasons.
Self love is self help
Practice consistent rituals of self preservation. How? Find time to spoil yourself. Grand gestures directed toward yourself or small moments in private, enjoying your favorite things go a long, long way regarding your mental health. Think: A short solo getaway or a glass of wine, piece of cake and a good book, or your favorite trash tv with no interruptions.