So anyone who knows me knows, I’m an admitted active dater. Sometimes I force myself to go for the experiences and sometimes because there’s a possibility that it’s a guy I could be intrigued by and want to know more about. Don’t be fooled though girls – on the smallest occasion I simply go for the food and the shear admiration. More often than not the latter doesn’t work. I’ve mentioned that we live in a world where dating is dead. Men are doomed to think that two dates scores them some sort of official title. Of course this is ridiculous to me because how could I learn enough about a guy in two dates to know that I wanted to date only him? Further than a title other activities are also expected by at least the third date. If I guy does hang in there that long and I’ve obliged him the opportunity to have gotten that far, there must be an understanding of sorts… being that I never hide just the type of person I am. Before I date I think about it and know exactly what will happen every step of the way. If by chance my night deters in a negative fashion there’s usually and instant decision made not to elect my company with the dater again.

Date 1.

A beautiful Nigerian man I met on a whim. Two weeks prior I was at an acquaintances birthday party when I happened upon him. It was a fun night considering I hadn’t really been out since new years, at the regular spot I obtained VIP when even the birthday hostess was having trouble getting her guests in. Rummaging around upstairs for a while I decided there was more action downstairs by the bar – my regular lounging area. Prior to hitting the venue another acquaintance and I caught “300” on its opening night. “300” is a brilliant looking movie decorated with skin clad ripped men. That set me up for the night. The mission seemed to be – find a man with a good “300 body” and let him know about it.

Mild flirting and a lot of laughing proved me bored by 2 AM so we headed for the door. Just after settling a tab, the girl I was with spotted the tall dark handsome African. He was cute and he LET us feel his abs. Certainly if I was totally sober I might have been more reserved. I asked him a couple of questions and did that Pimp thing where I give my card and simply say “send an email” we left. But not before I got a smooch from “him” (mentioned many times in this column previously). I hadn’t thought about the Nigerian until I did get an email from him a couple days later. Truthfully, in my stupor I totally forgot the whole accord had taken place. His email was friendly enough so we communicated that way for a while then graduated to the phone. He asked me out and I accepted. Now I went because I was curious, 1^st I remembered, he was tall and had abs …. Even though that combination doesn’t make for the best of situations I was pleasantly surprised.

We met at a well known Caribbean eatery known as Negril. A soon as I saw him I added handsome to the list of attributes I had given him previously. It was a pleasure to look at him and not just imagine him with his shirt off. Dark chocolate complexion, matched with a bright beautiful smile and very quaint inset dimples. He was very clean looking and his choice in attire made it clear he was adamant about the way he styled. To my pleasure he had awesome conversation and a very cool attitude. Not cool like he’s down to earth and nice. But cool like he’s got his own swagger. We spoke about his cultural experiences, one he’s Nigerian, two he’s from Canada and three he played Basketball in Europe for the past year and a half. Did I mention he was smart? I mean smart like, scholarship to college for biology and has just started med school. Nice right? Needless to say anymore I was happy with my company. I even enjoyed the fact that he didn’t open doors for me. Sick right? LOL oh he also laughed at some of my super self indulgent jokes… it’s always a plus when I guy isn’t offended by my pride.

Date 2.

I told you guys I was a PIMP. LOL. The same night I met the Nigerian, it so happened that I met a MYSPACE friend at the venue by total coincidence. I was a little unbelievable because I had only been corresponding casually with him for just over a week. We just happened to end up at the same place for different parties. I was impressed by the over the top but short of stalker online interest in me so I was thrilled to meet him in person. I was at the bar chatting with PF guy (Phat farm guy mentioned in previous columns) and I turned around just as he had noticed me. It was crazy because he knew who I was and I knew who he was automatically. Very neat, handsome in a nerdish way, real estate agent with well kept dreads just past his shoulders (I hate dreads), we spoke throughout the night and he called when I was driving home. Texting throughout the week he decided he wanted to catch a flick.

The movies are never my idea of a good date, One because you can’t see the person and two because you can’t talk, three because it’s cheap, bad choice. Anyhow I had nothing to do but talk to the Nigerian (who lives in Jersey) all night so I went. Date 2 lives in Queens as well so we kept it local (another mistake). We get to the theater and he buys the tickets without my approval of what we’d be seeing. I didn’t mind it so much but it was certainly something to think about. Next, of course we needed refreshments. I did my duty/test and offered to pay. He let me do it ladies … another mistake. Not that I mind it’s just the point in fact. This wasn’t how a first date was supposed to go. Before the movie started I decided there wouldn’t be another date. By the time he dropped me of around midnight to go meet friends to continue his night I was merely amused. Nice enough guy, but he’s the type that wants to think what you’re thinking before you say it. Like there’s some kind of puzzle he’s needs to solve to make things go smoother …. He fails to realize I’m not a smooth kind of girl and it’s a hell of a man to deal with all the things I spit out.

Now – I know what you’re thinking! Something to the effect that I only liked date 1 because he was super hot. Not true. In all realness I had “liked” date 2 even before I met him. I was intrigued and he gave great conversation. Once I had met him it just solidified all I had thought before. He just was a bad date, and things went a bit awkwardly. I am putting no bearing on date 1 either. Sure I like to look at him but it was only ONE date. That simply gets him to the next one as where the 2^nd guy didn’t amount to being worthy.