The Bluest Red

by Friday, April 11, 2008

Won’t ever apologize for being who or how I have become.

However how I feel when I am perceived by others as something I’m not amuses me. The few I loosely call friends mean something to me although friends of theirs will never know me the same way.

This whole concept of having friends is new to me. Although … the efforts I have made .. mostly have fell flat – the one unexpected “friendship” has seemed to backfire.

She said .. she had been betrayed by the “likes” of me before but it so happens that she is the one that has performed a sort of betrayal. How could it be that the content of my eye only considers her. In the utmost literal kind of display, I am rejected invisibly and purposefully, to an extreme of ignorance. I think to myself “she knows the content I hold, how can she be his content and be accepting of it, how can it be flaunted in front of me so freely?” I suppose it is because I am stone … and in the eyes of others .. to which I prefer… I couldn’t possibly have and real feelings for anyone accept myself.

We will still be “friends,” I will not change. People are not me. How I feel is not mirrored in them.

Never let them get to close… even when you hope they might …

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