Married?! There’s a ring on him…

by Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What would cause a morally sound, independently attractive woman to look twice at a married man?

As recent as recently I have been pondering this question. I myself caught myself wondering about one that seemingly happily belonged to another. Perhaps our conversation was a little too engaging or maybe my drink was a bit too strong but I was left with a question of why and how this perfectly fine woman had snagged this man and if she had not, would I have?

I am certain that the age-old notion that women are attracted to married men because “they know they can take that next step” did not apply to my case. However I am not so sure this idea didn’t float through my mind out of desperation. I can’t help but think that because I was able to have an interesting intellectual conversation with a man who was not hitting on me that maybe I should hit on him. This thinking is seriously flawed. Reasons for this idea stem from the way a lot of men attempt to pick up women. I am aware that most men can’t engage in a real conversation with me because they are after something. And with that – most conversation becomes heavy with insincere gestures of boasting and ego boosting.

Is this because I live in New York? It is not often that I come across a married man here and as I said … even if I did I believe my morals are too grounded to even look twice at a man brandishing a ring. In fact I am at the age that it’s the first thing I look for (it used to be the shoes). Overall I’m thinking out the reason why I thought twice about this particular man who happened to be married. I am beginning to understand that the respect is gone in a lot the relationships people have … even with strangers. Members of the opposite sex that perhaps you would like to get to know. Automatically a switch is turned on and the best things about your self spill out immediately. True things and others embellished. Because this married man didn’t seem to want anything from me I was drawn to his sincerity. I think it’s sad that because he wasn’t selling himself to me and just conversing about simple things I was attracted to him. Is this what it has come to?

Where are all the real people?


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