Monday night – when I should have been at home waiting for Heros to come on I found my self in Harlem … on a date. Not that the date was supposed to be in Harlem, it so happened that after picking me up in the city my suitor decided to take a detour. We ended up on 125^th streetPittsburgh” episode. I forgot what “ghetto guys” were like and remembering wasn’t fun. Not that I am degrading men that grew up under privileged … its just that I have no use for men that grew up that way and haven’t done much to change the perception. I’ll give a few examples. Those that choose to work two mediocre night jobs just to live what they consider comfortably, those who imply that words of six or more letters are big words and those that use the N word in everyday vocabulary… just to name a few without being offensive (no matter how offended I was). parked in front of a bunch of shops. I should have known, considering, just before we parked he had asked me if I wore “ghetto clothes” to which I responded “umm what exactly are ghetto clothes?” I wanted to go home right then and there. Where’d I find this guy? Well obviously in the wrong place … note to self – never go on dates because you’re bored or tired of the same guys. I found myself in some kind of throwback “Berta in

Those of you that have known me beyond NY know that a great deal of my adult “career” was spent either working in or managing a men’s urban clothing store. I managed a store precisely like the one I had visited on accident with my “date.” I will say that it brought back memories and with the memories a sense of the lacking within the black community. Men silly enough to buy $165.00 tee shirts from a corner store really have some priority issues. That said, this fool picked out a couple tee shirts and had the nerve to tell me to pick something out for my inconvenience. Guys …. Was he serious … when he made the statement … I looked down at myself literally…I looked at my pleated knee skirt in particular … after I assured myself that I wasn’t dressed like a hoochie (even though I had on the gitumgirl stilettos) I told him I was good and I didn’t need anything … the salesmen tried to insist. I smiled … not trying to seem like the snob that I apparently am and declined again. I walked around the store reminiscing of the old long days in my Pittsburgh store. When we left … I told him exactly how I felt about the stunt he had just pulled. Not only did he detour from our destination but he had insulted me with his offer, he then said “I hope you don’t think I was trying to get closer to you by buying you something” sigh … that’s exactly what I thought and that’s exactly what he was trying to do. Did he think I would say yes? Gladly grab some glittery rhinestone littered cut out shirt? Then smile to myself while gripping the bag as if I had accomplished something. Is this how it happens? Aren’t we adults? I wasn’t mad, just marveled at my silly decision, clearly I know better. I’m positive this was the worse date I have been on since I moved to New York … this dummy was even worse than the Masters degree holding, good job having idiot that pee’d outside behind a car because he said the bathroom was too dirty.

Once we got to the restaurant, sitting across from me he acted like I was the best thing since diamond encrusted gold fronts. I hate that, especially since he kept reiterating that he wasn’t at all taken by the way I looked. While I was busying myself with the bread and butter he asked the question – “So how’d you get to be so Fabulous” LOL – good question. Of course I didn’t know what he was talking about – I cant ever remembering NOT being any way but this way (wink wink). He said there was something about the way I spoke and the movements I made. To that I replied that all the girls hang with act like me. I told him it was the circle of women he was used to acted a certain way, I explained it wasn’t a bad thing but there was much more to life than the influences you grow up around. Of course I didn’t divulge my sob story to him (which is truly how I became Extreme) but I let him know that character is sometimes emulated by those you surround yourself with.

That said, next time I am bored, I’ll bite the bullet and watch judge Mathis like I usually do. I promise I will not give in to begging (should have been a clue.) Stay tuned he is already asking to cook me dinner, as if I would get caught anywhere near his personal domain. FYI – I’m excepting suitable ways to end contact without getting my car keyed.